Book: The First - Part: One - Chapter: 15 - Installment: i

The EMT arrived before police back-up. Edmond heard the siren arrive. Shale had lost both consciousness and a lot of blood. Edmond didn’t know if he could safely release pressure on the wound.
He hollered out the open door.
“I need you guys in here!”
“We haven’t got confirmed clearance.”
“I’m the officer who called this in. My partner is bleeding. I can’t take the pressure off the wound.”
“Sir, we can’t simply take your word for it. Medics have been shot or taken hostage in similar circumstances.”
“God damn it! Isn’t putting yourself in harm’s way part of the job?”
With one hand Edmond reached into his jacket and pulled out his wallet. He threw it through the doorway.
“There! My badge is in there.”
Hesitantly, the head of one of the medics came into view. He glanced carefully into the dark of the house, then picked up Edmond’s wallet and inspected it. He glanced over his shoulder and muttered something to the other medic.
“Okay. I’m coming in.”
Jesus Christ.” Muttered Scott under his breath. He raised his voice and said “Just you. Best put on a viral-filter, and have your partner call Haz-Mat.”
Scott was sitting in the bedroom with Carly when the door opened and his superior, Captain Anderson, entered wearing a mask and rubber gloves.
Anderson liked to get out from behind his desk as often as possible, and an Officer Involved Shooting was clearly a perfect excuse.
“You know on an OIS you have to turn over your gun for processing.”
“I already gave it to the Evidence Response Team.”
“Good boy. Who is this?” Anderson was trying to show some sort of avuncular charm, but in the filter-mask it wasn’t playing for Carly, who withdrew behind Edmond.
“This is Carly. She’s a bit scared, but she seems okay. Is the DB cleared?”
“Haz-Mat has it bagged. A relation?”
Edmond nodded. “Another in there.” He indicated the on-suite. “It’s been a bad day.”
“I’m sorry Scott, it’s not getting better. I’m also going to have to ask for your badge and put you on desk duty.”
“God damn it.” He winced, recalling the child at his elbow.
“It’s SOP.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I can’t afford leniency in this. You’re…”
“Bad public profile. I know. Why do you think I’m going by the book on this?”
“I appreciate that.” The Captain leaned against the door frame. “So, care to tell me what happened?”
“Once the Socs come for Carly. There’s something more important I need to tell you. I’m not sure what to do with it.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.”
“I might be in danger. Francis – he’s worse. And…” with the hand that was behind her, Edmond pointed discretely to Carly, out of her line of sight.
“Damned right Shale’s worse. He lost a lot of blood before the medics arrived. You saved his life. So, out with it.”
“You have to expedite the autopsy.”
“We’ll get her in as fast as we can. She’s not going anywhere.”
“I wouldn’t be so confident. Look what happened to… the husband.”
Anderson noticed instantly that the conversation had turned, but he couldn’t fathom what the thread was “What do you mean?”
“I think Meyers was sick. Some sort of Hemorrhagic Fever or Bird Flu or something. He gave it to his wife. God knows about anyone else who’s been in the house. She bit Shale.”
As he put the pieces together the Captain took a reflexive step backwards from Edmond and Carly, before he caught himself.
“Sorry, Scott. I don’t mean…”
“I would have done the same.”
“Holy…” the Captain relaxed again as his reasonable instincts brought questions to mind “What makes you think so?”
“We saw a news report on the way here. The symptoms match.”
“Ever watch Discovery Channel? People who get these things can’t get out of bed, let alone take on a healthy police detective.”
“I’m no doctor Clem. And with all due respect, neither are you.”
“Are the kids showing any symptoms?”
“Kid.” Carly spoke up. “My brother is in there.”
Edmond smiled down at her. Janne is like that too – can’t really keep her out of an adult conversation if you tried.
“Carly, do you feel hot? Or do bright lights hurt?”
“No.” She drew it out, implying that Edmond should have known better and didn’t need to bore her with such stupid questions.
The Captain chuckled. “Sounds promising. Good thing, you two sound like you wouldn’t last long quarantined together. I’ll catch up with you at the hospital. I’ve got a crime scene to oversee.”
Clem.” Edmond called Anderson back.
“Autopsy. Fast. Please.”

Installment ii


Ravina said...

Nice..I enjoyed the dialog. The "DB" and "SOP" were a bit of a speed bump--and the switch to "Scott." I still don't know what "the Socs" are..Social workers??

Edmond is coming through as a character trying to redeem himself.

Carly seems to "with it" considering what she went through. I'd expect her to be shell-shocked having been terrified, witnessed her mom eating her brother, and now Mom's dead, all within the past hour or so. The adrenaline would have worn off and she'd be more a zombie I'd think.

As for a grammar correction, look at:
"He raised his voiced and said.."

Jedi School Drop Out said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jedi School Drop Out said...

Thanks Ravina


The "voiced" was merely a typo... or perhaps I started writing one thing and changed my mind and failed to fix everything. Either way this is proof positive of my process with the reader as the editor.

As to DB, SOP and Socs - yeah, I'm not sure how to handle that. I don't want to spoon feed every detail and I want characters to be able to speak in jargon when it is mutual without making it stilted or leaving the reader behind. It's a tough tightrope to stay on.

Those ones I have reviewed now and for the moment I'm going to leave them as is. The context is all there (you did correctly surmise that socs is Social Workers) and there isn't a great deal of detail that can be missed by misunderstanding these points.

If somewhere down the road there is a wave of diseenting opinion I'll revisit this.

Thanks again.

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Necropolis by Kennedy Goodkey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada License.
Based on a work at necropolisnovels.blogspot.com.