tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.comments2013-08-21T09:30:53.300-07:00NECROPOLISKennedy Goodkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10308801339937940368noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-43314903045879783912012-01-28T13:21:44.353-08:002012-01-28T13:21:44.353-08:00Need some WD-40 to get unstuck?Need some WD-40 to get unstuck?Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16115046509303158815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-66527354510662245952012-01-15T16:48:06.908-08:002012-01-15T16:48:06.908-08:00Just wondering how you're doing with this. I&...Just wondering how you're doing with this. I'm looking forward to more of this.Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16115046509303158815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-42380017250819339792011-08-23T10:50:08.504-07:002011-08-23T10:50:08.504-07:00I think you are right on that one, Andy. Ammendme...I think you are right on that one, Andy. Ammendment made.Kennedy Goodkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10308801339937940368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-76649166319762841572011-08-23T09:29:38.871-07:002011-08-23T09:29:38.871-07:00This sentence sounds awkward:
He wanted not only t...This sentence sounds awkward:<br />He wanted not only to get out in the world, but he also needed to cool his jets.<br /><br />consider taking out "not only"? I'm interpreting this as he wanted to get going, but Lazarus is making him take it slow.Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16115046509303158815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-32112838592295133572011-07-26T09:49:55.668-07:002011-07-26T09:49:55.668-07:00You are absolutely correct Lia.
It has been a very...You are absolutely correct Lia.<br />It has been a very busy month (and a bit) it has taken me this long just to get back and correct it!Kennedy Goodkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10308801339937940368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-64253785779907782122011-06-12T17:26:26.887-07:002011-06-12T17:26:26.887-07:00Just a minor correction in this paragraph..."...Just a minor correction in this paragraph..."He had clearly spoken his peace. He back away from the door staring Marcel in the eye as the Lazarus leader poured over the widening view of the vampire’s face – looking for some sign, some indication of body language that might betray its purpose."<br /><br />I believe he had spoken his piece not peace....and he backed away from the door not back away...<br /><br />I am enjoying the story so far. I am no editor by any means but i am usually good for noticing spelling corrections. <br />Lialia abbottnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-60965437763856148582011-04-15T10:39:43.896-07:002011-04-15T10:39:43.896-07:00hmmmm....the names of the schools in this installm...hmmmm....the names of the schools in this installment seem vaguely familiar :)lianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-18704994333573128092011-03-15T11:18:18.198-07:002011-03-15T11:18:18.198-07:00Thanks Ravina
;-)
The "voiced" was m...Thanks Ravina <br /><br />;-) <br /><br />The "voiced" was merely a typo... or perhaps I started writing one thing and changed my mind and failed to fix everything. Either way this is proof positive of my process with the reader as the editor.<br /><br />As to DB, SOP and Socs - yeah, I'm not sure how to handle that. I don't want to spoon feed every detail and I want characters to be able to speak in jargon when it is mutual without making it stilted or leaving the reader behind. It's a tough tightrope to stay on.<br /><br />Those ones I have reviewed now and for the moment I'm going to leave them as is. The context is all there (you did correctly surmise that socs is Social Workers) and there isn't a great deal of detail that can be missed by misunderstanding these points.<br /><br />If somewhere down the road there is a wave of diseenting opinion I'll revisit this.<br /><br />Thanks again.Kennedy Goodkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10308801339937940368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-80951120085813539232011-03-15T11:09:44.901-07:002011-03-15T11:09:44.901-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Kennedy Goodkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10308801339937940368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-6562826776704798182011-03-14T15:04:14.667-07:002011-03-14T15:04:14.667-07:00Nice..I enjoyed the dialog. The "DB" an...Nice..I enjoyed the dialog. The "DB" and "SOP" were a bit of a speed bump--and the switch to "Scott." I still don't know what "the Socs" are..Social workers??<br /><br />Edmond is coming through as a character trying to redeem himself.<br /><br />Carly seems to "with it" considering what she went through. I'd expect her to be shell-shocked having been terrified, witnessed her mom eating her brother, and now Mom's dead, all within the past hour or so. The adrenaline would have worn off and she'd be more a zombie I'd think.<br /><br />As for a grammar correction, look at:<br />"He raised his voiced and said.."Ravinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10305996422637899413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-19567540160714991562011-02-28T21:51:40.563-08:002011-02-28T21:51:40.563-08:00Thanks Andy.
I tweaked it. Maybe not as clearly ...Thanks Andy.<br /><br />I tweaked it. Maybe not as clearly as everyone would like, but I do think it is clearer.Kennedy Goodkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10308801339937940368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-42731687406066797302011-02-28T12:25:13.173-08:002011-02-28T12:25:13.173-08:00I'm confused by the last sentence, esp. : he ...I'm confused by the last sentence, esp. : he felt more empathy for the truth in Sylvette’s words than compassion for anyone who should get in his way if he were to live by those wordsAndyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16115046509303158815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-43597017564195504662010-12-15T10:08:28.913-08:002010-12-15T10:08:28.913-08:00Ah Meg...
How appropriate that you should leave t...Ah Meg...<br /><br />How appropriate that you should leave the first comment ever!<br /><br />Yeah, this has been banging around in my head ever since we quit discussing it years back. You will find it familiar... yet very different. But I can't talk about that... too many spoilers!Kennedy Goodkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10308801339937940368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7244998478912376709.post-33519806251373797602010-12-15T08:58:25.074-08:002010-12-15T08:58:25.074-08:00hey! I didn't know you were back writing this ...hey! I didn't know you were back writing this ! Have fun with it!<br /><br />MegAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com